writing this blog is going against all rationality, but i have to do it. i have to write things that express myself instead of plastic words weighted down with academia. i have to remember that my life is much bigger than that which will (hopefully) soon fill these 10 or more pages, single spaced, size 12 font of my essay.
last week molly and I saw the Russian Ballet perform selected solos/duets from 10 of their greatest ballets, including, of course, Swan Lake, Sleeping Beauty, Giselle, and Don Quixote. Our gallery tickets put us up in the slaves' quarters, where columns or other balconies blocked the view from most seats, so we nestled down on the ground in front of a nice man who didn't mind giving up his right to cross his legs in order for us to see the 8.000 pesos worth of ballet we paid to see. and it was magical. in all my 15 years of ballet i never managed to lock my corporal self into that mysterious realm of expression where color, emotion, and heat take the form of movement, but when I see it I can feel it surge through my body. My thrills and griefs streched out to the tips of their outstreched arms, pulsing in tensed back muscles, tip tapping in the wooden toe shoes on the black stage. One couple danced the perfect harmony of two becoming one, each one anticipating every curve of the other's body, breathing as if one creature. when they danced, I had to remind myself to breathe, and as the curtain before them I found myself open-mouthed with brows raised.
in short, it was amazing. then afterwards we drank hot chocolate in our favorite cafe, solitas, because everyone else in this country was watching the futbol game. (we won, by the way)
a weekend again with our new friend, Maria Paz. she is Francisco's little sister who we have gotten to know in Francisco's absence, and I feel quite certain that leaving her in July is going to break my heart into at least a thousand pieces.
i have 2 tests, a presentation, and an essay to do this week, the pressure of which is on the verge of bursting my well of tears. in this dreary grey cold all I want is to hibernate and for the cumbersome reality of school and grades to dissipate into the fog or drown in the waters of the much-anticipated rains. but, armed with a few remaining dark chocolate M&Ms and a patience that could only be God-given, I know I'll make it through. And when I do, oh what a glorious day that will be.
Now i will get back to academia. Your comments are a refreshing elixir, keep 'em comin'!
6 comments:
your description of the ballet is exactly how I felt everytime I watched you dance for 15 years!!
Dear, dearest KKJ,
YOU are so creative and expressive - how I love you!
1) 8000 anything sounds like a lot of moneys
2) i would say the gray, cloudy, cold goodness is better than this miserable 'i can't stop sweating from the strangest parts of my body' weather, but I'm confusing myself into that so I can live in Seattle before I die.
3) God is GOOD. God is GOOD. God is GOOD.
4) I love you
Catie - 1st cuz once removed. I read of your progress in this chapter of your wandering feet and mind and have a couple of thoughts for you to consider for your final push. These come from an old Chinese philospher Lao Tse who was the mind behind Taoism some 2500 years ago (A journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step?). I apologize bit as these are from memory. For your times of feeling down "Seek happiness not with greed but rather don't fear happiness". For your reflection on the time spent south of the equator "he who knows others is wise but he who knows hisself is enlightened". To remind you of what you have seen while traveling in foreign lands (and to carry you everywhere) "Think of plainness but embrace simplicity, reduce selffishness and accept few desires". As you complete those essays "To know that you do not know is best but to pretend to know when you do not is unhealthy". And my favorite for every occasion "To be worn out is to be renewed". Finish the job you set out to do and I can't wait for your blogging 6 months from now when you describe all of the wonders of the chapter that you are about to complete.... Buena suerte y repiticion de mi - "Tranquillo"!!!
How did last week go? I tried to skype you the other day but you werent online and didn't answer your phone.
i love love love ballet and your description of the performance! wow! and also i love you and your ability to get-er-done ;)
the way you described the ballet gave me goosebumps! i wish i could move like that. and emily's comment completely cracked me up to where i forgot all the philosophical things i was going to say. yeah, right, like i ever had any....psshhh.
hey guess what! i'm going to see you in like 5 days! i'm so freaking pumped!!!!!
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