I'm the Man

I like to think of myself as a fighter of injustices, a protector of peace, an advocate for Goodness in the world.  Sometimes I feel the weight of oppression crushing the air from my lungs from what I imagine to be a pool of slimy, greedy tadpoles bloated on power and privilege.  And then sometimes, this happens.

We have a few families staying at the shelter who have been here for quite a while now.  The recession has compounded the difficulty of finding a job for everyone, and all the more for a single mother of 2-5 kids who may or may not have a work permit and who is struggling to recover from her own trauma.  Some of these large families have created a tense environment with the kids. The shelter isn't a great place for older kids, they are bored and cramped here.  We have to be strict about moms keeping an eye on their kids for everyone's safety and well being, but have you ever tried to tell an 11-year-old they have to stay within eyeshot of his/her mom?  The longer kids stay here, the antsier they get, and the more frustrating our rules become.  Then they began to push back against those rules, and we tighten them up, and then we're caught in a cycle that doesn't make anybody happy.

This week the kids in the shelter went on strike.  With signs in hand, they marched on the office demanding fairer treatment and more fun living conditions.  The leader of the pack was a powerhouse of a young woman, and she was leading chants of "Let us play in the back yard!" and "There's 12 of us and just 5 of you!"  I was found myself unsure if I wanted to laugh, yell at them, or join in with their chants.  But of course first reaction: get them to calm down.

I tried ignoring, I tried talking them down, I tried listening to their demands then saying we can talk about it later.  They were persistent. I got frustrated.  I wanted to snatch their signs out of their hands and tell them to be more appreciative that they even have a roof over their heads and start finding creative ways to have fun.  I knew better, but the angry green monster inside of me was trying its best to come out.

But after the immediate confrontation passed and they went back to make their next round of signs, I realized what a strange role reversal I had just experienced.  I was the oppressor, imposing insane rules for fear of losing control.  They were the justice fighters, gathering in unison to have their voice heard.  And how did I respond?  On a smaller scale, exactly the same way the 'oppressors' of our society respond: ignoring, false promises of negotiation, belittling, increased hostility.

Yikes! Does this mean that the 'bad guys' of our society aren't actually so bad themselves, but rather regular every day people who get pushed into corners that they don't know how to respond to but defensively? Or does it mean that I am just as capable of choosing actions based on corrupt intentions as the fattest, richest CEO? Hmmm...

I quickly repented, and started writing a lengthy letter to the kids.  First I commended them on taking action on what they saw as injustice.  I told them that no matter what grown ups or other people say their whole lives, they should never stop speaking up about what they think is right.  I explained to them the ways that our rules were really for their own safety.  There are some rules we really can't change, but others we probably can.  I suggested a format of negotiation whereby they pick a rule they don't like, try to imagine why the rule was created in the first place, then make suggestions for change.  I told them I want to hear their voices, and that they have good and worthwhile ideas.  I signed it, and passed it along to the leader of the pack.


It was a silly event, and on the surface it was nothing more than another funny story from the kids at work.  But it really shook me, and I'm glad it did.  It is so easy to become the oppressor, and we each do it in our small ways.  Whether it's the co-worker whose ideas you have ceased to be open to, or the children you treat as if they are dumb or less valuable, be humbled to know that the capacity to oppress is within each of us.