Before traveling abroad, they go to great lengths to warn you about the inevitable crash-and-burn stage that follows the first month or so (the honeymoon period) abroad. I think it´s happening now, at least to some degree. I am frustrated by the lack of improvement in my Spanish, by my inability to make freinds with people at our univeristy, at the hours I waste in my room on the computer because I can´t figure out what to do with myself and can´t pull myself together to study, at the Literature class I signed up for that I recently found out will not include anything by Marquez, Neruda, or Allende -- why even call it latinoamericano literature without these guys??? Molly and I have come off of our week of carreteando with head colds and an insatiable sleepiness, and I am equally exhausted by the effort it takes to build up new friendships, and instead simply crave my apartment in Austin where I could always rope one of the roomates into playing a game or watching a movie, or walk over to good ole 321 for some N64 or old musicals. This morning I got up freakishly early to wait in line outside the Registro Civil to get my official chilean ID. Good news - chileans are very friendly and within a few minutes I was chatting it up with the people on either side of me in line. Bad news - my spanish sucks. I´m so tired of every other word that comes out of my mouth being "huh?" or "no entiendo". After four years of studying it, a month and a half in Spain, and two months now in Chile shouldn´t I speak better than that by now??? Chances are, it´s actually better than I realize, but my devilish perfectionism is coming out to play with my emotions.
Now I have to go to the literature class class, which I think I´m going to drop because I´m a coward, and taking Gringos101 sounds a lot more attractive right now than drowning in a sea of too much reading and not enough understanding.
beh.
I promise things are better than I´m making them sound... blogger just happened to catch me in a down mood.
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7 comments:
Greetings from Strasburg first cousin once removed. This too shall pass. One day the switch will click and there you will be without even knowing it. Try this - find an elementary school within easy reach and volunteer to read to the kinds in their english lessons. You'll end up with something to do, you'll be contributing and.. you'll be speaking spanish!!!! And hey - don't forget I gave you those telephone numbers so don't be afraid to call them!
I meant kids not kinds.......
no one told me about this before I was an exchange student in Ecuador, so I didn't recognize it when it came. I just felt like a failure for a long time. Really, someone probably told me but I was 16 and didn't really listen to anyone. I've also been feeling annoyed with culture / frustrated about my french here too. Patience! You are really (deeply) learning Spanish. You are really learning the culture. You are growing. You just might not be able to see it yet. I am praying for you. Woohoo for living abroad! It's quite a ride :)
awww...I'm sorry you have hit this place, but as always, you recognize it, put it out there and you are learning as you go through it! One of your many amazing qualities that makes you ....YOU!
I love my cousin's advise....try it! Meanwhile eat chocolate, catch up on sleep....and remember....your Mom and Dad hugs are coming in 42 more days!!!
O Catharine, I wish I could give you a hug and have a visit with you. I think of you every day and hope this note finds you feeling better. I love you,
nana
you'll be back up in no time.
i trust the Lord is leading you.
ok so I know you're actually not really experiencing this anymore... but I am going to pretend. and just tell you that I love you and and it will get better. make lemonade with those lemons (cause they're the best fruit ever).
love love
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