First of all, let me begin by stating that any lack of ability to use words to communicate on my part is made up for in minute 4 of this video: http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-august-18-2011/world-of-class-warfare---the-poor-s-free-ride-is-over
Now I can begin.
I've heard more than my fair share of snarky comments about poor people owning luxury items, whether it's a cell phone or a BMW, and I will even admit to having partook (partaken?) in such conversations. But as always, it's the small simple moments that provide breakthrough and insight.
The kids at Posada are crazy about Nintendo DS, and I have my reasons for despising all things remotely related to video games (thanks, mom and dad, for raising me right!). However, there was one day when one of the older girls got a Nintendo DS for her birthday. Watching from the sidelines as the excitement and mayhem ensued of all the other kids ooh-ing and aah-ing over her new toy, I started chatting with the girls mom, who was glowing even more than her daughter.
"All her life she has nothing" she said to me. "My girls are so smart, so good, and all the other kids' moms can reward them for being smart and good, show them how proud they are. I tell my babies every day how much I love them, but I am so happy that today I get to give my baby just a tiny piece of everything she deserves." It's not so much about an entitlement mentality of materialism, or about inability to express love and affection outside of material things. As a mom she's exploding on the inside to be able to express how proud she is of her daughter (who is, by the way, one of the brightest, most articulate, self-motivated young ladies I've ever seen. She wants to become a lawyer and I'm certain she'll go on to do amazing things).
We can blame people for making poor choices and buying luxury items when their basic needs are struggling to be met. We can also look at the structure that makes that acceptable.
We all want a sense of power and worth, and we all get that from various places. But when you are
1.)a woman
2.)a mother
3.)an immigrant
4.)homeless
5.)without a man
there is an overwhelming sense of a lack of power and worth which has been fed to them. Not only that, but material posessions are, in our culture, one of -- if not the -- main accepted sources of status and power. So imagine for a moment that you feel worthless and utterly without power over your own life, and you have the opportunity to buy a big TV or a Nintendo DS or a car -- something that will show the world that you're ok, you're a functioning contributing member of society.
Of course it doesn't work. It doesn't satisfy poor people any more than it does rich people, or those who have incarcerated themselves in a prison of posessions. Do you think if you buy a bigger house than you can afford, upgrade to the newest smart phone, paint your room according to the latest fad on pinterest, put together the right outfit, lose the right amount of weight... will it make you happy and complete? Will you be empowered?
Will you be seen as more legitimate by our society?
Probably yes.
So the lesson I guess is to be cautious of casting the first stone. And to know that sometimes there is a really beautiful heart behind what appears to be not the wisest decision.
